Friends

I received a text message from a very close and dear friend today. When I had my breakdown in February she was one of only two friends who were close enough for me to trust and who came to visit me at home a few days before I was taken into hospital. I blogged a little while ago saying when you are unwell, especially mentally unwell, you really find out who your friends are. I certainly did!

I have spent this weekend taking stock. Asking myself how far I have come and, more importantly, how far I think I can get! Both of these questions are quite problematic to answer as, just like the FTSE (an analogy I have used before), whilst recovering from a serious mental health 'episode', one bounces along for a while, some days making gains only to find the (metaphorical) market conditions are less favourable the following day and most of your 'gains' are wiped out.

Having taken stock a little I came to the conclusion that whilst I have worked hard (and continue to work hard) at my own recovery it is the faith and trust one's friends offer that is one of those essential and defining components that keeps you going. Let me add what is, I hope, an unnecessary caveat at this point - I am not taking anything away from those who live with me, and my symptoms, on a daily basis, for a family is an absolutely vital ingredient to a recovering mental health patient. Nevertheless, friends are different because they have a choice, they don't have to be your friends and often, when things are difficult, they elect to be your friends no longer!

So today, having heard from an old friend whom, it seems abundantly clear to me, understands the true meaning of the noun (because this particular friend has deomonstrably used the word 'friend' as a verb simultaneously) I pay tribute to all my friends. But especially to the small handful of very close friends who, in recent weeks, have walked some of this journey with me, who have supported me by their prayers, their kind thoughts, their gentle reassurances when I could find none of my own and their expressions of totally non-judgemental support. Thank you to each and every one of you. You know who you are.