Tomorrow I have a week's holiday with my family - a week on the canals at no greater speed than 3mph - just the ticket! I am looking forward to this a great deal but, having been unwell for so long, it is not without its attendant anxieties. I am acutely conscious of the fact that I am going to be out of my 'comfort zone' for a while: in one's own environment there is always somewhere to retreat to, emotionally or physically.
Nevertheless, following on from what I said yesterday about taking the driving seat in my own recovery, I am determined to be positive, to try and keep the worst of my anxieties at bay and generally have a good time. I am equally determined not to spoil things for others - so often, as I have often mentioned,my nearest and dearest suffer vicariously throughmy poor mental health.
Whilst away I can't blog. However, I do intend to keep a paper diary so that on my return I can reflect on my experiences out of the 'zone', as it were. So this is a week's rain check - but I am hoping for sunshine, literal and metaphorical.
Thank you so very much to those who are still following - it is helping me more than you know.
I have returned from holiday and caught up with your blog. You wrote yesterday that you feel you have an additional problem in that having experienced a couple of days of lessened anxiety you become anxious awaiting the next bad day and to what degree it will be. Anyone following your blog who has ever suffered with anxiety will tell you this is not an 'additional' problem but part of the same existing one. You are doing so well and the fact that you can now identify and experience days of lessened anxiety is such a positive step forward. I carry a piece of torn off envelope in my handbag. On it are written four words by 'someone' who helped whilst I was in crisis, "this too will pass". It is a reminder to me when my anxieties may be building that it is temporary interlude in my usually well managed anxiety. I like Davids reference to Desiderata which I have recently coincidentally reinstated on my kitchen wall. Take care.
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